“It doesn’t matter how rich or poor a person is, what gender or social class, or how much fame or education she possesses. Verbal, mental, and physical abuse can happen to anyone. It doesn’t matter what a woman’s ethnicity is because the only distinguishing color of abuse is black-and-blue.” ― LaToya Jackson


October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM). Domestic violence is a serious violent crime, one that can end one’s life. If you watch the news for any period of time, you’ll see the stories of women and men enduring domestic violence. Just last month, a picture of a 22-year-old New York native swept across the nation. Her parents begged for her to be found. The result of her being found appears to be another case for why domestic violence needs to be addressed.


As a society, we don’t like talking about domestic violence; and it is often kept from public view while victims suffer in silence, either afraid to seek assistance or unsure where to find help.


Domestic violence affects our society. It’s not just the victim that suffers. It’s the victim’s family and children that also suffer. For the sake of everyone placed in harm’s way of domestic violence, we will not be silent.


Did you know that 20,000 calls are placed to domestic violence hotlines on a typical day? That’s an average of 20 people per minute who are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. This is approximately 10 million women and men per year.


Defining domestic violence
The abuser often minimizes domestic violence. In order for women to know what it is, let’s define it. Domestic violence is a pattern of coercive, controlling behavior that is a pervasive, life-threatening crime affecting people. This includes physical, psychological, emotional, and sexual attacks, and economic coercion used against their partners.

Most abusers will tell or convince their partner that they’re abusing them or hurting them because the victim deserves it, or because they’re doing it out of love. This is a lie. No one deserves to be manipulated, pushed, slapped, hit, stalked, harassed, forced into something beyond their will, or isolated from family and loved ones.

This is a small number of ways domestic abuse and violence is expressed through an abuser’s behavior. This doesn’t account for the psychological behaviors that often coincide with domestic abuse, such as passive-aggressive behaviors and mental games that make the victim always feel at fault.  Domestic abuse is like putting a frog in a pot with water and slowly turning up the heat. Abuse grows more intense as time passes, which is why the victim needs to find a safe way out without getting burned.

Where can you go if you think you’re pregnant, face domestic abuse, and need help?

If you are pregnant, facing domestic abuse, and need help, why not come to Care Net of NNY? We help our clients on an individual basis. Whether your concerns are about abuse, health insurance, housing, maternity leave, or how this pregnancy will impact your career or educational goals – you will be met by a professional staff in a caring environment. We will not judge you, pressure you, or treat you with anything but our best – every time. When you come to our center, you can rest assured that your visit and any information you share with us are completely confidential. We will not share any personal information about you or your visit with anyone outside of our organization.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be very dangerous if not done carefully. If you are experiencing domestic violence, and are pregnant, we can connect you with our partners at Victim Assistance Center in Jefferson County. Or, for our patients in Lewis County, we refer you to Lewis County Opportunities.

You don’t have to face this alone. We are here for you, and your safety is our concern.

Contact us


Additional Resources:

  • Victims Assistance Center of Jefferson County, Inc.
    418 Washington Street, Watertown, NY 13601
    24-Hour Hotline and Shelter: 315-782-1855

Main Office Phone: 315-782-1823
Main Email: victimsassistancecenter@vacjc.com

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